Ah, Valentine’s Day. One of the best days of the year to get together with your significant other and celebrate the throes of passion. Or, it’s one of the best days to sit at home, all by yourself and curl up with a bottle of wine or whiskey and drink to your heart’s content watching old Rom Coms.
If you are in the first group, by all means have a great time, and I’m really happy for you! However, if you belong to the singles group this Valentine’s Day, I especially can relate.
Entrepreneurs spend a lot of time, well… working. They create businesses for a living, and so the actual time spent “living” can be a little uneven. Additionally, they have a lot of fires to put out, which means that they have to deal with things at a moment’s notice.
All of this can be troublesome for dating. However, it can also lead to a lot of creative energy.
How “Staying Uncomfortable” Started from Heartbreak
After a horrible breakup, everything in my life began to fall apart. I was devastated, as probably everyone reading this blog can relate. It was tragic, my heart hurt, my sleep was off, and I was getting fat.
I decided that I couldn’t go on anymore living the way I was. I had to make a change.
So I decided to do something about it.
Slowly, but surely I began to reactivate lost pieces of my life. When you are in a long relationship you lose certain aspects of yourself, that you don’t really get back until after you’ve broken up.
For me, I had to find a way to begin to get back on my path again. It wasn’t easy, but it was totally one of the most important things that I’ve ever done.
Honestly, without this pain in my life, I probably wouldn’t have had the push that I needed to do more in my life. I had stagnated, and like the single who is home alone on Valentine’s Day, I wanted to feel wanted, needed, and loved.
I decided that another relationship wasn’t what I wanted, or needed. In fact, I just needed to be more myself, which sometimes is impossible to do when you are in a relationship.
The flip side is that it is also hard when you are longing for something you don’t have–like a relationship.
So to all the singles out there reading this, I feel for you.
I was able to channel my energy into creating Staying Uncomfortable, because I was really uncomfortable and I recognized that others may be dealing with very similar situations.
How Many Entrepreneurs Prioritize Biz Over Relationships
As business owners, entrepreneurs commit to a lot of time thinking about the business. This doesn’t follow a typical work schedule. For instance, if you have a shipping nightmare at three in the morning, your business doesn’t care, but your boyfriend might. Likewise, if a client needs to call you at 8pm, your girlfriend might be upset when you interrupt her dinner. However, these are necessities when you run your own business.
How to Not Be Lonely (You Don’t Always Need to be Dating Someone)
No matter what your relationship status is you can still enjoy being yourself.
One of the biggest stresses is finding someone to be with, because our culture prioritizes it. When your single it seems like everyone at the restaurant is there as a couple. The bar is full of couples who could care less about your singleness.
However, you have to remember that every couple started out as two single people. And it’s also important to remember, that many of the couples you see will either break up, fight, or be pretty miserable themselves.
Loneliness is the thought that you are somehow less complete without someone else. And while everyone feels lonely (even people with partners) it is better to be a friend to yourself first, than to have an amazing boyfriend or girlfriend. If you are an entrepreneur, or a visionary, then you have a bigger mission which will bring joy and happiness to many people outside of yourself. This is not only more important, but it’s also a better strategy for attracting a significant other. Doing good in the world can help you to get outside of your head, and bring you fulfillment.
Someone else who is in a relationship can actually make you so happy that you don’t feel as ambitious to create.
This can be problematic. Especially, if your business and employees rely on you to provide for their family.
So in order to not be lonely, you have to be able to be happy on your own, because if you don’t truly like yourself–chances are–a new relationship won’t really make you happy anyway.
I can’t speak for everyone, but being single again was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It drove me to recreate myself and to aim higher. That’s something that just doesn’t happen when you are content and pleased with where you are in life.
Embrace the struggle, and keep grinding–there’s a bigger purpose out there for you, and once you find it, the relationship between you and your work will be the perfect fit for you to feel fulfillment and joy in your life.